An Open Letter

Dear ......


You have given me so much metaphor but why can’t I write it down? I have listened to your every story and actually learned a lot from them, it was magical and I got addicted to your presence both physically and technologically. I started falling from day one. The hardest part is the acceptance that we can only have this friendship, and I chose to respect your offer because maybe in the end your right. I began missing you when you started to change bit by bit everyday. I felt the changes and it scared me. How cliché is this but really, “change is the only constant in this life”. I wanted to hold on to those memories we’ve shared. It’s still very much clear in my mind. Call it Love, obsession, or what not; all I know is that I’m happy when I see you, when I hear you, when you have time with me. You said you didn’t want clingy people, you start pulling off when you feel the needy part of the relationship. I was too afraid to show you I am actually needy, clingy at that. But I tried to fight it because I didn’t want to lose the connection, our so called friendship.
Tonight my thoughts on you again, I miss you tonight and what gives? The sad part is I can’t do anything. I can’t even say I miss you or I love you because I know you’ll only say “Sayad lang?”
The hardest part is letting go of this love that I know is the most natural feeling that I have in my system. It’s like acting the whole time, a façade that seems normal, because I also wanted to believe that I’m ok. But I know in this lifetime I have loved but didn’t lose, because I was fixed…


Thankful,

Peter Lyle