You, The User

Aphorism clears my apprehension,
Lifelessness, anguish, swiftly
Turn to animation.
I was bewildered, now i come
To understand, and to understand more.
My eccentricity is basic but powerful,
Because i am not fiction
And does not entertain illusion.
I am not contagious,
But enigmatic.
That furtive glances you throw me,
Can mutilate the honorable user in you.

Weekend Snapshot

Weekend Wedding Bliss. Allen, my college friend's wedding day. Taken exactly 10 months ago. Enough of the formal rituals. Real friends scores fun & horrifying shot at this one. But Nahh! It's just funny! c",)

Start the week right people! Have a great one! Kisses!

The 6th Stage

What would you do if a past love suddenly haunts you back? After 6 long months of emotional roller coaster, having to experience: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & finally Acceptance (DABDA as we call it). The 5 stages of emotional state after a death or loss of someone close to you, someone special.
It started with a call, there's a bit of heart pounding moment, but after a while everything seem to be normal again. How i became numb & indifferent with words that has been said, or is it just my defense. I have always believed to face problems & new situations head on, & man am i proud to say, I'm practising it now & actually doing good at it.
How i precious my newly found freedom, my emotional independence. I have gained my focus again, i am given another chance at equilibrium.
Now i know what I'm worth. But when you don't experience the 5 stages of grief, let me introduce you to the 6Th stage. Suicide.

A Poem After Reading Ladlad (July 24, 1998)

( For Peter Lyle )



Your reflection, my friend,
Is beyond mere eyes and mirrors.


Refrain from staring at yourself on a mirror,
You'll only find him,
Tall, dark and loathsome,
His ego as even as his skin
And his ambiguous smile.
Or her,
Full breasted and dressed,
Her make-up complementing her listless soul.
And her high-heeled shoes
That don't make her any taller.
Or yourself perhaps,
Throwing back a cold stare,
Frowning,
Because you're not one of them.


Close your eyes and see
How not being one of them,
Make you most fascinating.



( a decade old poem written for me from a friend Mr. John Paul Aguilar; UST Literature Batch 1999. )

Fashion Emergency

Shop till you drop! But hey, not in my closet!
I received an email from my good ol' friend Anton, telling me that he doesn't have anything to wear for a very important interview this coming Wednesday. My reply was just to keep it "Neat & Simple".
Next was the call. He was really agonizing over the thought of appearing physically unpleasant for an interview. So i decided to offer some of my good old pieces & try to mix & match. It feels good to be my friend's personal stylist. (Mmm my dream actually to be a professional shopper or stylist harhar! )
We we're having so much fun putting things together, not realizing the raid of my closet! What pieces were washed out? 3 button down shirts; a Tommy; Banana Rep & my precious Ermenigildo Zegna. 2 vest from Kuya ( a korean retailer ); & 1 long sleeves low V-neck shirt that is really good for that Yuppy-ish look.
Helping a friend in need feels really great! But hey, I really need to have my Zegna back! c",)

I, The Tenor

I was waiting for eight o'clock
As i waited, the slower the hands of time gets there.
At long last it was eight.
Yes. Excitement.

Low, husky, masculine voices i hear.
At long last they're here.

In circular form we sat.
In circular form we ate.
In circular form we drunk.

Comradely talks fill the air.
But alcohol intoxicates the brain.

You debunk deception.
I declaim defensively.
It was then an epiphany.
I should shut my mouth.

Low, husky, masculine voices i hear.
For the pitch of my voice does not make music with them.
Mine is higher than theirs.

In A Blur

I thought it was Sunday yesterday, after a gruelling week of work work work. It's my restday actually ( R2 as we call it in the office for our 2nd restday for the week ) It was another lazy mediocre saturday afternoon full of nonsense, where the mind is idle or just plain blank. I felt a pang of melancholy air, inviting me to wallow over my present state. Funny how i didn't even try to fight not to be gloomy in a saturday afternoon! Right, i had plans, but my mind is keeping my body from moving. Uggh! What energy is wasted in being a couch potato in a day!

Then realization came, OMG Crap! I'm working on a sunday! Sad!

My Way Out

I dream of an open space, where i can breathe easily.
Trapped inside a closet is a hard thing to experience.
I know i have to decide immediately.
I dream of an open space, not realizing the DOOR;
An easy way out.
To experience reality that doesn't need sweat nor exhaustion.
Come out easy, come out fast.
There's comfort, there's love.
For air is to life & life is to experience.